Big trans is watching you!
Few places in Britain have escaped the 'transgender' epidemic, and even in my seaside town, people of uncertain sex are now quite a common sight.
One of them dresses entirely in pink - electric pink PVC mini-coat, pale pink parasol, magenta boots -, and if you catch his eye he'll give a look that says, 'Go on pal, laugh - I dare you!'
I don't, partly out of politeness, but mainly because s/he is built like a wrestler.
Increasingly 'transgenders', aided by politically correct police, are using 'hate-speech' law to shut down criticism, questioning or mockery of their peculiar lifestyle choice.
Last month, for example, police investigated a Humberside man called Harry Miller for retweeting this limerick:
Your breasts are made of silicone
Your vagina goes nowhere
And we can tell the difference
Even when you are not there.
Your hormones are synthetic
And let's just cross this bridge
What you have, you stupid man
Is male privilege.
Admittedly it's a pretty poor limerick, and I'm sure our readers could write funnier ones on this topic:
There was an old man of Saint Kitts
Who longed for a huge pair of...
But back to the story.
Apparently, a snowflake copper ('community cohesion officer') took offence and decided to record Mr Miller's retweet as a 'hate incident' against transgender people.
'We need to check your thinking', warned PC Mansoor Gul:
What you need to understand is that you can have a foetus with a female brain that grows male body parts and that's what a transgender person is. ... I learned it on a training course run by a transgender person last summer.
Let that be a science lesson to you, Mr Miller!
Violent crime rose by 24 percent in Humberside in the year ending September 2018.
Last December, 38-year-old Kate Scottow from Hitchin, Hertfordshire was cross-examined, fingerprinted, DNA-sampled and thrown in a police cell for calling a 'transgender woman' a man.
Her mobile and laptop were also seized following a complaint by 'trans activist' Stephanie Hayden regarding an online argument.
Mrs Scottow reports:
I was arrested in my home by three officers, with my autistic ten-year-old daughter and breastfed 20-month-old son present.
I was then detained for seven hours in a cell with no sanitary products (which I said I needed) before being interviewed then later released under investigation... I was arrested for harassment and malicious communications because I called someone out and misgendered them on Twitter.
Kate Scottow (left) and her accuser Stephanie Hayden.
Hertfordshire Police confirmed the arrest, saying: 'We take all reports of malicious communication seriously.'
More seriously than knife crimes, evidently, which in five years have tripled in Hertfordshire.
Some people might say a society that panders to deluded (and perhaps seriously disturbed) individuals is a society adrift.
I, on the other hand, celebrate the beautiful, courageous new women who have proved God and nature wrong:
Harry Miller is planning a nationwide limerick tour of police headquarters.
I'm just a hairy-a**ed docker who swears, drinks and watches football. ... [But] the only way to protect freedom of speech is to keep bloody speaking.
Well said Harry, and long may you (re)tweet!